PROFILPELAJAR.COM

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 05:26, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T05:26:00.000Z","author":"Wizardman","type":"comment","level":1,"id":"c-Wizardman-2010-04-16T05:26:00.000Z-GA_Review","replies":[]}}-->

Overall this article is decent, but I did find a number of concerns:

~~The WP:LEAD should be a summary of the article. while this one isn't too bad, it feels more like a listing of things he does now (he is x. he is y. he is also z. etc.)~~

Done --MK 11:56, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":1,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-GA_Review","replies":["c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-2","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-2"],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~I don't see why File:Tharoor and Cyrus Cylinder.jpg is acceptable in this article under fair use guidelines; beef up the rationale or remove.~~

Done Free use rationale added to the image page --MK 11:56, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

"He studied at Montfort School in Yercaud and Campion School in Mumbai, attended high school at St. Xavier’s Collegiate School in Kolkata, Bachelor of Arts degree in history from St. Stephen’s College, Delhi ." Sentence isn't grammatically sound. Should be ", and attended high school.." and a couple other issues are in that sentence.

Done Fixed --MK 09:17, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

"He then completed a Ph.D. at The Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University, Massachusetts, at the age of 22, a Fletcher record." 'record' doesn't sound right. instead just say he was the youngest to earn a PhD, plus that should be cited.

Done Section re-written. Cite added --MK 09:17, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T09:17:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~Most of the UN career section is unsourced. Both sentences in the first paragraph should be sourced, as well as a few others in that section.~~

Done --MK 11:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

"Tharoor's was an exceptional UN career, rising as he did from the P-2 level to the highest possible rank of Under-Secretary-General in a mere 23 years." Avoid POV. If it is exceptional than the readers should be able to figure it out themselves from the accomplishments.

Done Makes sense. Fixed --MK 11:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~"Tharoor resigned from the post of Under Secretary General on February 9, 2007 and left the UN effective 1 April 2007." Combine with the earlier paragraph and cite.~~

Done Don't see the sense in merging with prev. para. Cite added -MK 11:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:33:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-2","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~"On June 15, 2006, the Government of India announced its backing for Tharoor’s candidacy as Kofi Annan’s successor for the post of UN Secretary General." Cite needed.~~

Done --MK 10:45, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~"when he won 10 votes to Ban's 12[10] 14 September,[11] 28 September[12] and 2 October," Huh? I'[m not getting the random date insertions.~~

Done These are the dates of the 4 straw polls. In any case they have now been removed as they appeared confusing. Perhaps a bullet list. --MK 10:45, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-1","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

~~"After the vote, Tharoor withdrew his candidacy, telling reporters he was “confident that Ban will win.” " Quotes need cites, always.~~

Done Re-worded and cite added accordingly --MK 10:45, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z","author":"Mskadu","type":"comment","level":2,"id":"c-Mskadu-2010-04-16T10:45:00.000Z-Mskadu-2010-04-16T11:56:00.000Z-2","replies":[],"displayName":"MK"}}-->

I'm actually going to stop here for now. I'd like to see these issues fixed over the next few days, meanwhile I will review the rest of the article. If the issues are not fixed in 5 days from the review's conclusion, or if I find severe problems later on, then I'll fail the article. If everything's worked on and resolved, then I'll pass it at that time. Until I finish the review, here's some issues to start fixing. He does sound interesting, so hopefully this article will become one that ends up infinitely better after going through the GA process. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 05:26, 16 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-16T05:26:00.000Z","author":"Wizardman","type":"comment","level":1,"id":"c-Wizardman-2010-04-16T05:26:00.000Z-GA_Review-1","replies":[]}}-->

Given what's currently happening in the news with him, I'm worried about the article's stability over the next couple days; clearly a lot has been changed on top of what you modified. I'm taking the weekend off from reviewing but will finish it Monday. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:29, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-17T03:29:00.000Z","author":"Wizardman","type":"comment","level":1,"id":"c-Wizardman-2010-04-17T03:29:00.000Z-GA_Review","replies":[]}}-->

Well, he just resigned, so now the article's going to have a huge spike in viewing and editing for a while, failing the GA stability requirement. In short, the other issues I had with the article were the bullet points in the degrees and the controversies section (prosify all that) and some areas where references were lacking; at a minimum it should be one per paragraph. I'll have to fail the article currently, but after all this dies down in a couple weeks, you're more than welcome to re-fix everything and renominate it at GAN. I'll admit, I've never had to fail an article due to something like this before, heh. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 18:40, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]__DTELLIPSISBUTTON__{"threadItem":{"timestamp":"2010-04-18T18:40:00.000Z","author":"Wizardman","type":"comment","level":1,"id":"c-Wizardman-2010-04-18T18:40:00.000Z-GA_Review","replies":[]}}-->