Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 2008–09
The following is a list of recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced between September 13, 2008, and May 16, 2009, the thirty-fourth season of the show.
Googie Rene
Kenan Thompson sells discounted garments with mysterious stains.
Googie Rene's Slightly Stained Wedding Dress Basement;[1] this sketch was previously included in the dress rehearsal for the September 13 episode, but was cut from that episode's live broadcast
A sketch featuring "Googie Rene's Partially Damaged Christmas Decorations" was included in the dress rehearsal for the December 10, 2011, episode, hosted by Katy Perry, but was cut for the live broadcast.
The Lawrence Welk Show
A parody of the original "mildly-entertaining" Lawrence Welk Show, this PBS rerun, hosted by Fred Armisen as Welk, features the singing act The Maharelle Sisters, from the Finger Lakes. The performance in the original Maharelle sisters skit closely resembles that of Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen in the 1954 movie White Christmas.[4] Each performance begins by featuring each of three attractive, flirtatious women, before introducing the fourth sister, Dooneese (Kristen Wiig), (sometimes spelled "Judice"; spellings differ in SNL sources[5][6]) whose deformities include an extremely tall forehead, tiny hands the size of an infant's, and an odd canine tooth. As each of the women sings in turn, Dooneese's contribution at the end is inevitably a weird or disturbing rant, such as describing eating cats or having worms in her hair. She often makes inappropriate sexual advances toward any men co-starring in the performance.
Franco plays Lawrence Welk Show performer Rico Garlando.[11]Jenny Slate, Abby Elliott, and Nasim Pedrad play the other sisters (Rhonda, Shirley, and Nancy, respectively).
John plays Lawrence Welk Show performer Frances Lynn Mulge.[13]Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad, and Vanessa Bayer play the other sisters (Shirley, Nancy, and Toni, respectively).
McCarthy plays Cousin Gert, who has her own deformities, including superhuman strength.[14]Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad, and Vanessa Bayer play the other sisters (Shirley, Nancy, and Toni).
Jagger did not appear in the sketch (which served as this episode's cold open). Jon Hamm appeared in cameo as Lawrence Welk Show performer Johnny Prosciutto.[15]Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad, and Vanessa Bayer play the other sisters (Shirley, Nancy, and Toni). Kate McKinnon appears as Johnny Prosciutto's mother.
43-year-old Jeff Montgomery comes trick-or-treating at the home of Bob Peterson (Hamm). Montgomery indicates he's costumed as a sex offender for Halloween, but is evasive as to whether he is also a real-life sex offender introducing himself to neighbors to comply with the law.[17]
Montgomery appears at a large Thanksgiving gathering, where it's eventually realized that none of the hosts or guests know who he is. He eventually mentions that he's an escapee from a mental institution.[18]
A sketch featuring Jeff Montgomery and his father (played by special guest Dan Aykroyd) terrorizing their neighbors was included in the dress rehearsal for the February 14, 2009 episode (hosted Alec Baldwin), but was cut for the live broadcast.
A sketch featuring Jeff Montgomery trick-or-treating was included in the dress rehearsal for the October 17, 2009, episode (hosted by Gerard Butler), but was cut for the live broadcast.
Bill Hader plays Stefon, a club kid and city correspondent for Weekend Update. He is asked by Seth Meyers to offer tips on wholesome things for tourists to do in New York City, but instead offers tips on the hottest (or more accurately, most bizarre) New York nightlife. May 18, 2013 marked the final appearance of Stefon as a recurring character, as Hader concluded his final season as SNL cast member.
Stefon is introduced in a sketch where he and Affleck are the Zolesky Brothers, making a pitch for a coming-of-age film interspersed with gay sex scenes.[19]
Ben Affleck makes a cameo appearance reprising his role as Stefon's brother, David Zolefsky. Stefon's appearance in this episode marked his last as a recurring character.[19]
Appeared alongside Edward Norton, who was dressed as Stefon and doing an impression of him, as well as Seth Meyers mentioning their unnamed children.[34][35]
"Grady Wilson's Tantric and Tasty"; Carrey appears as the erotic shaman Leelicious.[40]
The Vogelchecks
Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader star in this sketch about a family that expresses affection, at the slightest provocation, with slobbery French kissing and other disturbingly intimate acts. In the sketch, another member of the family (usually played by the episode's host) brings home a new girlfriend/boyfriend to meet his parents (Armisen and Wiig) and brother Dwayne (Hader). The girlfriend is initially put off by the family's eager physical affection, but is won over by a heartfelt speech from Armisen.
[11] Lonny Vogelcheck (Franco) brings his girlfriend Lindsey (Abby Elliott) home for Christmas. Grandpa Josef (Will Forte) and Grandma Vogelcheck (Nasim Pedrad) also attend. This sketch originally appeared in the dress rehearsal for the December 12, 2009, episode hosted by Taylor Lautner, but was cut for the live broadcast.
Ronny Vogelcheck (Bobby Moynihan) brings his girlfriend Shelley (Jenny Slate) home for the funeral of Great-Grandpa Opel Vogelcheck (Will Forte), where she meets his family. Galifianakis appears as the priest, Father Yankovic.
Austin returns with his girlfriend Amanda (Vanessa Bayer), and the Vogelchecks greet their Romanian relatives Aunt Elaine (Nasim Pedrad) and Uncle Vlad (Paul Brittain) for Christmas.[23]
Brecken Vogelcheck (Samberg) brings his boyfriend Matt (Taran Killam) to watch the football draft. Paul Rudd reprises his role and Maya Rudolph is a nurse to Grandma Vogelcheck (Kate McKinnon).
Dateline
Bill Hader plays Dateline correspondent Keith Morrison hosting "Real-Life Crimes and Stories of Real People in Bad Situations", a series of short interviews with victims of pain and suffering. The sketch revolves around Morrison's sinister persona: during the interviews, Hader utters trite remarks, makes creepy faces and sounds, expresses disgust at awful things not happening, and admits he gets a creepy delight out of other people's suffering.
Morrison interviews a woman (Kristen Wiig) whose boyfriend was found dead in a car trunk; a couple (Jason Sudeikis and Casey Wilson) attacked by sharks; and a man (McGraw) whose wife murdered their neighbors.[41]
Morrison interviews a man (Andy Samberg) who walked in on a convenience store robbery; a couple (Abby Elliott and Kenan Thompson) who had the roof cave in on their wedding; and a convicted murderer and cannibal (Morgan).
Morrison covers the 'Mystery of the Chopped-up Guy' wherein the man accused of chopping up the guy (Buscemi) admits he chopped up the guy immediately. Morrison then speaks to others involved in the case despite there being nothing to investigate.
Kristen Wiig plays an outwardly sexy woman (strongly resembling Marilyn Monroe) who nonetheless does everything in the least sexy way possible. In each sketch she enters a room where several male coworkers were present, all of whom are initially attracted by her curvaceous contours, her sweet childlike voice, her fetching walk, and her shy and demure demeanor. However, her behavior is quickly punctuated with belches, farts, accidental urination or defecation, loud braying laughs, tasteless and vulgar remarks, and fits of spastic, uncoordinated movement. By the end of the sketch, all of the men except one (usually played by the episode's host) are completely repulsed by her; the holdout is even more smitten than when she first arrived.
In an interview with Alec Baldwin, in which he complimented Wiig on her ability to switch between sexy and unsexy characters, Wiig replied:
I have to say, one of the greatest gifts that I've gotten from SNL is getting out of my comfort zone. I realized, and I think Lorne [Michaels] realized, probably the first handful of years that I was there, most of my characters were ladies in their forties with short hair and weird sweaters, that no one wanted at their dinner party. The good thing about being at SNL, for me creatively, is to think, "Okay, I'm comfortable enough. I really want to try something that's not something that I normally do." That's when I actually first came up with the character Shana, the one that’s sexy but says gross things."[42]
A mischievous schoolgirl played by Kristen Wiig.[43] In the standard Gilly sketch, Mr. Dillon (Will Forte) is attempting to teach his class of young students, but the class is repeatedly interrupted by pranks. After each prank, Mr. Dillon asks first Liam (Bobby Moynihan), then Sam (Kenan Thompson), if they are responsible, and the boys deny it (especially easy for Sam as his arms are both in casts). A female student usually Paula (Abby Elliott) then says that Gilly did it, and Gilly offers an insincere "sorry." The cycle repeats with the pranks becoming more dangerous and violent.
Kenan Thompson and Bill Hader star in these sketches, in which sports presenter Randy Dukes desperately tries to convince the audience that his co-host, Greg, is not an alien, despite everything in Greg's behavior proving otherwise.
Hamilton, played by Will Forte, is a creepy man with a soft-spoken voice, blonde bob cut and large round sunglasses, who commandeers the microphone at various events. For some reason, women find him irresistibly alluring.
At a wedding, Hamilton toasts the bride and groom before lamenting the recent election of President Obama. (Hamilton was not named in this episode.)[51][52]
At a funeral, Hamilton speaks about the recent deaths of his cousin and mother before excoriating the policies of President Obama. (Hamilton was not named in this episode.)[10]
At a book reading by Debbie Turner (Barrymore), who has written a memoir ("Living With The Devil") of her incredibly unhealthy yet passionate relationship with Hamilton, he appears and convinces her (by singing the Usher song "Love in This Club") to give him another chance.[49]
Hamilton offers a toast at a dinner for a 25th wedding anniversary. (NOTE: Forte had left the cast by this point, and was just coming back for a cameo)[53]
Hamilton offers a toast at a retirement party. (NOTE: Forte had left the cast by this point, and was just coming back for a cameo)
The dress rehearsal for the March 6, 2010, episode featured a sketch in which Hamilton interrupted a lesbian wedding to beg one of the brides for a second chance; the sketch was cut from the live episode.