The film was shot in New York City in May 2022. It had its world premiere at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival on January 22, 2023, and was released in the United States on May 26, 2023, by A24.
Plot
Beth is a successful memoirist and creative writing teacher who has recently written her first novel. She is in a loving marriage with Don, a therapist. Don is self-conscious about aging and struggles with his patients, many of whose problems he is not engaged with.
Beth's agent tells her the novel needs multiple revisions, causing Beth to doubt her work. She is reassured by Don, who reads a draft of the book and suggests looking for another agent who is more enthusiastic about it. While shopping for socks, Don confesses to his brother-in-law Mark that he does not like Beth's novel but feels he cannot be honest with her. Beth accidentally overhears their conversation when entering the shop with her sister Sarah, and Beth's faith in their relationship is shaken. In an attempt to reassure her, Sarah tells Beth she occasionally lies to her husband about his acting performances, but this does not comfort Beth.
Beth continues to struggle and gets increasingly annoyed with Don. At Mark's birthday dinner, Beth finally tells Don she overheard what he said. Though Don tries to tell Beth she is missing context, he eventually reveals that he does not like her book but didn’t want to discourage her. When Don and Beth's son, Elliot, accuses Beth of putting pressure on him to be extraordinary, Don and Beth finally discuss their differences. They talk about white lies they have told each other, and Beth realizes the way she reacts is partly due to her controlling father's verbal abuse from when she was a child. She eventually finds a new, more enthusiastic agent.
One year later, Beth's novel is published. Don and Beth, now reconciled, celebrate their anniversary together. Don decides to go through eye surgery, and Beth tells him that he's going to look great.
Principal photography began in May 2022, in New York City.[6] Cinematographer Jeffrey Waldron said, "I worked to build a natural, inviting New York look that didn't distract from the unfolding story, but brought cinematic punctuation to its important human moments". To achieve this, he used an Arri Alexa Mini camera with custom-adjusted Panavision Primo lenses. In order to make the film feel "filmic, human and handmade", he further softened and reduced contrast in prep with the help of a custom film emulation LUT.[7]
In the United States and Canada, You Hurt My Feelings was released alongside The Little Mermaid, Kandahar, The Machine, and About My Father, and was projected to gross around $1 million from 912 theatres over its four-day Memorial Day opening weekend.[11] The film grossed $474,000 on its first day, and debuted to $1.4 million over the 3-day weekend (and $1.8 million over a four-day time frame).[12][13]
Critical response
On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 95% of 219 critics' reviews are positive, with an average rating of 7.7/10. The website's consensus reads: "Smart, funny, and above all entertaining, You Hurt My Feelings finds writer-director Nicole Holofcener as sharply perceptive as ever."[14]Metacritic, which uses a weighted average, assigned the film a score of 80 out of 100, based on 43 critics, indicating "generally favorable" reviews.[15] Audiences surveyed by PostTrak gave the film an overall 75% positive score, with 42% saying they would definitely recommend it.[12]
