Andrew Cobb

February 25, 1983

Andrew Cobb was born in Harrisonville, MO to an unwed teenage couple. Andrew was concieved in a broom closet during anti-drug rally Harrisonville Junior High.

Despite a bed wetting problem that lasted into college Andrew was able successfully battle his fear of physical intimacy with farm animals. It was in grade school that he was selected the now de-funt hero squad. In hero squad andrew would learn mortal combat, chemical warfare and torture. His only operational mission saw him off to sell WMDs to the Hussien Regime in Iraq, however he only took aluminum tubes on his trip. Andrew's involvement with the creation of Acquired Immuno Defencey Syndrome (AIDS) is hotly contested. Travel vouchers do place him in Sub-Saharan Africa during the inital outbreak. It was Andrew's involvment with the Mujahadeen that would utlimately spell the end for Hero Squad. Fellow members, who wish to remain anonymous, have stated they feel that Andrew had become too sympathetic to hard-line Islam and shared in their disdain for Hummer H3s and SUVs in general.

After Hero Squad he fell on hard times. Being rejected by the University of Texas and Southern Mississippi University, Cobb attened the University of Missouri on a scholarship though thier new test program for "unfounded combative debate". It was at Mizzou that Cobb would meet James Cox, the only Air Force officer that most people wish they never met. James and Andrew would begin a friendship that would last approximately as long as it took Cobb to figure out how to buy a house and ditch his old friend.

Andrew currently serves below a colonel at Barksdale AFB, emphasis on be-low. His daily activities include trying on small girls clothing while serving lemon cake in high heels, and trying to find new methods for creating tea using his personal "tea bag" (*ahem*)

Cobb's 5 Year Plan Durnig an interview with National Public Radio (listening audience of 3: 2 people who thought they were tuning in to a Celene Dion concert and one person who made the initial choice to listen in over losing a finger (a decision that was quickly reversed one minute into broadcast)) Mr. Cobb disclosed his personal 5 year plan. I could waste another 5 mintues of your life, but lets just say that it involves scabs---lots and lots of scabs.