Cameron Claywell... Cameron Claywell... What can be said about this man, this legend? His story began in the small town of Awesomeshire, when he sprang into existence in 1984. He quickly became better than most of the kids in the town, nay, all of the kids in the town, at everything. Then, during the Awesome-Polish War in 1990, Cameron willingly went into battle armed with nothing but his trusty claymore, a weapon named for this very man. It wasn't until 1992, when Cameron was a mere 8, that he was honorably discharged for being far too bloodthirsty. This however, did not stop Cameron, and he willing joined the Greek Alliance, a rebel group of fighters, led by their omnipotent leader, Alpha Pat, the very man who bestowed upon Cameron the title of Omega Cam (after he had single-handedly wiped out the entirety of the Polish Armored Tank Battalion). After this, the Polish government declared their surrender, but Cam, unfazed, continued his wholesale slaughter of the Polish people. Finally, when the aliens attacked on the eve of 2000, Alpha Pat, Omega Cam, as well as their band of heroes, turned their sights on the alien mothership. Wading into battle, Cam wielding nothing but his trusty Clayevenmore, back to back with Pat, slaughtered the entirety of the alien armada. The aliens, strangely able to speak English, were impressed by the battle prowess of the two warriors, and to this day they celebrate Wziodasfdros, a holiday honoring sex, drugs, and war...

THE END