Herbert was the son of Charles John Herbert (1785–1823) and Louisa Anne (née Middleton) Herbert (1796–1828), who was the daughter of Nathaniel Middleton.
Herbert's paternal grandfather was Henry Arthur Herbert (1756–1821), MP for Kerry from 1806 to 1813, and his grandmother, Anne, was the daughter of a "Jamaican of colour" named Elizabeth Augier.[1][2]
Herbert's family owned the Muckross Estate near Killarney in County Kerry, and they moved there to Torc Cottage after their wedding. Mary brought a large dowry to the marriage, and in 1839 they began construction of the large Muckross House. It was finished in 1843, shortly before the Great Famine.
In September 1837, Herbert married the artist Mary Balfour, whom he had met in Rome. They had four children:
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