Earl Silverman

Earl Silverman
Born(1948-07-04)July 4, 1948
DiedApril 26, 2013(2013-04-26) (aged 64)
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Organization(s)Men's Alternative Safe House
Family of Men Society
National Coalition for Men
TitleFounder and President, Family of Men Society
Founder, Men's Alternative Safe House
Canadian Liaison, National Coalition for Men
MovementMen's rights movement

Earl Silverman (4 July 1948 – 26 April 2013) was a Canadian domestic abuse survivor, activist and men's rights advocate who founded the Men's Alternative Safe House (MASH), the only privately funded domestic abuse shelter for men in Canada, and the Family of Men society, which operated phone lines to assist victims.[1][2][3] He also served as the Canadian Liaison for the National Coalition for Men.[4] June 14 is unofficially "Earl Silverman Day."

Earl died by suicide on April 26, 2013, shortly after selling the shelter due to bankruptcy and ridicule.[5][6][7]

Biography

Silverman, originally from Montreal, moved to Calgary in 1978.[8]

He escaped his violent and abusive wife some time before 1991, but was unable to find a domestic abuse shelter that could take him in,[1] and he would face ridicule at the hands of the police, which he said ultimately caused him to retaliate in defense.[9] While plenty of shelters for women existed, the only publicly funded services available for men were for anger management. "As a victim, I was re-victimized by having these services telling me that I wasn't a victim, but I was a perpetrator," Silverman told the National Post.[1][10][11][12]

After leaving his home, Silverman had spiraled into self-abuse and alcoholism,[1][13] attempting suicide due to helplessness.[14]

Family of Men Society

Silverman founded the Family of Men support society, and served as president and program coordinator for the organization. The society maintained a telephone crisis line for over a decade to assist men in matters of abuse.[15][8][16] The society was founded around 1992, and it reportedly faced problems seeking funding from local governments.[17]

Men's Alternative Safe House

MASH4077 (Full form: Men's Alternative Safe House) was started in the early 2000s, in Earl's own house in Calgary, making it the only privately funded shelter for male victims of domestic abuse in Canada. It was listed in the SAFE (Stop Abuse For Everyone) list of resources as early as May 2004.[18]

An erroneous claim that MASH4077 took in its first refugee in 2011, which appears on a number of other websites, is based on a misreading of Earl's announcement in 2011 on the NCFM website, not of the first time a male victim had been housed by MASH4077, but of the first time a male victim had been both referred by the local provincial government and funded by a grant (of $1,000) from them, thus making Earl optimistic that his decade's-long advocacy on behalf of male domestic violence victims was finally being recognized as legitimate.[4] MASH hosted about 20 fleeing men and children in the first four months of 2013 before being shut down. With no public funds to help, Silverman funded the running costs and bills himself, failing to raise significant amounts from either government or private donations.[1][19][20][21]

"Family violence has gone from a social issue to only a woman's issue. So any support for men is interpreted as being against women," said Silverman in an interview with Beacon News.[14]

In early 2013, Silverman announced that the sanctuary will be closing because he could no longer afford to run it due to a lack of funding. He sold the house shortly after to a man named Steven Howitt, and committed suicide the next day.[1][20]

Death

Silverman was found dead by hanging in his garage on April 26, 2013, in an apparent suicide.[5] His body was discovered by Howitt, who called for help but was unable to save him. Earl left a four-page suicide note, condemning the government for failing to recognize male victims of domestic abuse.[1][5][20] Financial ruin and ridicule were said to have contributed to his suicide.[7] Silverman also wrote that he hoped his death would bring more awareness to the issue of male abuse.[13]

Legacy

Silverman's will directed that the funds from his estate should be dispersed so as to create an 'educational scholarship for male victims of female perpetrated domestic violence.' The superior court of Alberta directed that the funds should be directed to the Mount Royal University Foundation for this purpose.[22][20]

Erin Pizzey, writer and founder of Refuge, said Silverman 'was a martyr to the indifference of the Canadian Government, and we will never forget his name,' and noted that she worried there will be no change in the 'stone-hearted' Canadian government.[3][23][24] Men's rights publication A Voice for Men penned Silverman's legacy as "one of providing shelter and help to human beings that the rest of our society is content to see abused, homeless, and disregarded to their deaths."[25]

Then Wildrose Party leader Danielle Smith tweeted her condolences, stating she was "reflecting on what he spent his life fighting for."[21]

See also

References

  1. ^ a b c d e f g "Man who ran Canada's only shelter dedicated solely to male victims of domestic abuse dies in apparent suicide". National Post. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  2. ^ Stephenson, Amanda. "Calgarian who founded shelter for male victims of domestic abuse mourned". Calgary Herald. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  3. ^ a b "Owner Of Shelter For Male Domestic Abuse Victims In Apparent Suicide". HuffPost Canada. 2013-04-29. Retrieved 2020-10-15.
  4. ^ a b "NCFM Canadian Liaison Earl Silverman Gets Government Grant for Men's Shelter in Canada! | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)". ncfm.org. Retrieved 2021-06-26.
  5. ^ a b c "Need knows no gender". The Independent. 2013-05-01. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  6. ^ Abad-Santos, Alexander (2013-04-29). "Men's Rights Advocate Earl Silverman Leaves a Legacy of Feminist-Bashing". The Atlantic. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  7. ^ a b "Owner of shelter for abused men and children commits suicide after financial ruin, ridicule". Women's Post. 2013-04-29. Archived from the original on 2013-10-29. Retrieved 2020-09-03.
  8. ^ a b "10 May 2013, 31 - Calgary Herald at Newspapers.com". Newspapers.com. Retrieved 2020-10-16.
  9. ^ Hutchinson, Brian (May 13, 1991). "Trading Punches" (PDF). Alberta Report: 41. Archived from the original (PDF) on July 4, 2019.
  10. ^ "Privately run shelter for male victims of domestic abuse forced to close its doors due to lack of funding". nationalpost. Retrieved 2021-07-28.
  11. ^ "Feminism didn't kill men's rights advocate Earl Silverman". Salon. 2013-04-29. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  12. ^ "Female violence society's "dirty little secret," especially in Alberta : Beacon News". 2012-05-03. Archived from the original on 2012-05-03. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  13. ^ a b Gerson, Jen (29 April 2013). "Men's shelter founder dies in despair; apparent suicide; Pleas for funds to shelter abused males unheard". National Post.
  14. ^ a b "Calgary man who opened first shelter for abused men commits suicide after being forced to sell refuge". ca.news.yahoo.com. Retrieved 2022-06-29.
  15. ^ "14 Jul 1994, 87 - Calgary Herald at Newspapers.com". Newspapers.com. Retrieved 2020-10-16.
  16. ^ "Family Of Men Aims To Assist Husbands". Neighbors. Calgary Herald. Calgary, Alta: Postmedia Network Inc. 14 July 1994. ISSN 0828-1815.
  17. ^ Woodard, Joe (23 April 2000). "Battered men shut out of funding: advocate". Calgary Herald.
  18. ^ "Mens' [sic] Alternative Safe House (MASH)". Archived from the original on 2004-05-19.
  19. ^ "Calgarian who founded shelter for male victims of domestic abuse mourned". 2013-08-10. Archived from the original on 2013-08-10. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  20. ^ a b c d "Calgary man who opened first shelter for abused men commits suicide after being forced to sell refuge". ca.news.yahoo.com. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  21. ^ a b Stephenson, Amanda (29 Apr 2013). "Men's rights supporters mourn loss of advocate". Calgary Herald. Retrieved 8 April 2021.
  22. ^ "Family of Men Support Society » Court designates MRU as residual beneficiary of the Estate of Earl Silverman". Archived from the original on 2018-09-06. Retrieved 2020-08-31.
  23. ^ "r/IAmA - Comment by u/erinpizzey on "Hi I'm Erin Pizzey, founder of the first Women's Refuge in the UK. Ask me anything!"". reddit. Retrieved 2020-10-15.
  24. ^ "r/IAmA - Comment by u/erinpizzey on "Hi I'm Erin Pizzey, founder of the first Women's Refuge in the UK. Ask me anything!"". reddit. Retrieved 2020-10-15.
  25. ^ Hembling, John (May 4, 2013). "Gloating over Earl Silverman's corpse". {{cite web}}: Missing or empty |url= (help)

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