As of 2008, Wilbur lives in Houston, Texas, and is the coordinator of the adult campground and the sex-positive Temple of Aphrodite at Dragons Wylde Ranch.[7]
Wilbur is intersex, and have said they identify as third gender, neither male nor female.[8] Wilbur stated in a 2008 interview, "my birth gender was altered shortly after I was born ... I am hermaphrodite. That is my true gender."[7] They accept any pronouns, but prefer they/them.[9]
They are the author of The Dominant's Handbook: An Intimate Guide to BDSM Play, and published the essay "Walking in the Shadows: Third Gender and Spirituality" (about being intersex) in Trans/Forming Feminism, Trans-feminist Voices Speak Out, edited by Krista Scott-Dixon.[7] As of 2008, they publish a column in the pagan publication Rogue Moon.[7]